I’ve learned some things in these weeks of mourning. Here are my discoveries, many shared by friends who have been through this.
1. Be around those who love you (sometimes doing nothing) Maybe a lesson for life. I spent Sunday with a friend and his 11 year old son and we played with markers and ate Chinese food and watched cartoons. This helped a lot.
2. Create in the memory of those passed on. Translating the poem, and now writing a film and play honoring Jo’s memory helps. The grief has an outlet, I like the active feel. All that I thought was “her out there” I am claiming as a part of me as I write in her memory.
3. Grieving connects and soften the heart. I understand now why people have periods of mourning: the wearing of black, or rules about food or contact for a period after death. This space of mourning sometimes feels like a sacred space – away, apart, internal. I can feel my heart softening, perhaps this will bring me closer to the suffering of others.
A picture of our beloved Jo.
