“If you don’t answer my calls I’m going to massage a crocodile at the zoo (a dead one).” — A Zimbabwean friend telling me he’s angry because I didn’t pick up his call.
“You told me again you preferred handsome men but for me you would make an exception . . . We’re ugly but we have the music.” — Chelsea Hotel by Leonard Cohen sung by Meshell Ndegeocello.
“ Malala pipes” — A derogatory expression in South Africa to say someone is useless, referring to homeless boys and girls who live in big concrete pipes.