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Two nights ago I couldn’t sleep and was reading about Charlie Hebdo and I posted an article on Facebook called “Everyone is talking about the French massacre, but 2,000 people just died in Nigeria.”  I almost stopped myself (in part because I have french friends grieving and marching) but I didn’t, I was angry, devastated, confused at the scale of tragedy around the world and the inordinate attention that 12 deaths in France are garnering.

In the morning a few more radical black friends had made comments (I almost expected this) but what I didn’t expect were friends commenting from Pakistan, India, Turkey, a white woman from South Africa, a few white friends from the USA.

You see I’ve been struggling this days – feel like I’m painted into a corner around race, mostly around pieces of work I’m writing.  I often divide the world into two parts – a group of more radical black people (in a few countries) whom I trust and converse with  – and the rest of the world.  I bump into race / racism all day long, watching its long fingers curl its way around the necks of friends, and I retreat in anger and incredulity.  But maybe allies, connections, comfort, resistance is in more places than I realize . . .

2014 was a hard year . . . . I left my job for the sake of art.  In 2014 I wrote everyday, learned a thing or two about the craft, wrote one piece I was happy with, threw aside tomes of other work as heartbreakingly mediocre.  In 2014 I saw a lot of bad theatre, mind-numbing television, and dull movies, but I did see a couple works of art that opened my heart and mind . . . .

Now as I enter 2015 I’m seriously wondering if art is enough. My year is all planned out: teaching writing at Wits and at the Market Lab, my play Two Women opening in July, new television, theatre, and film projects on the go.  But I’m  still not sure . . .  sometimes I think maybe I should do something more concrete like shoveling a ditch or closing down a prison or even opening a mine . . .

I spent the new years catching up with old friends in England – an odd mix of chatting, visiting restaurants and theatre, crawling around the floor with babies and frantic toddlers.  We spoke a lot about our lives, where we were going, the role of art.  Afterwards I got this not from a friend:

“For me art seems more important than ever, looking at how people can fragment away from humanity and be brutal, it seems we almost have a ‘duty’ to maintain the amazing achievement that civilization is. A person could be in the mud killing each other or they could sit in a beautiful ancient building listening to an orchestra play a subtle and intricate composition of feeling and implicit cooperation. More than ever, art seems to me very much what it means to be human and to live – both for ourselves now and for future generations.”

I love the sentiment of the quote – art is what teaches us to be human.  Although as I read her note over and over I realize part of why I feel far away (from my former self) and perhaps a little despondent.  I’m not looking for art anymore in European buildings or orchestral concerts – I’m looking now instead in the textures of life in South Africa where I live.  I’m looking for transformation in what Fugard describes as the toilet water English of his Afrikaans mother.  Or I’m seeking hope in South African pre-colonial theatre traditions like the performance of a Pedi wedding negotiation with its speeches, praise poetry and dance.  Or I listen intently to the ways in which stories get mulled and churned and structured at taxi ranks waiting for the buses in Joburg- I want to know what instruction this language and these stories can tell us about how to live. This is where I seek my art these days.

So here’s my plan and this is where I’m looking for meaning in art in 2015. It feels like a difficult and sometimes fools errant task, but we’ll see what I find  . . .

Buddhism practice and discourse are an important part of my life.  I’m moved, intrigued, struggling with, curious about this one – “the five remembrances.”  To be contemplated (daily) to help free ourselves from destructive attachments and realize our true inheritance. I’m still chewing on them . . .

 

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

 

Keketso and Dorothy read through the 3rd draft of my play “Two Women” this weekend. It’s finally getting into some decent shape (after frantic rewrites over the weekend.)  I keep telling myself I should be better at this, faster, smarter, less prone to the mistakes and habits I keep falling into. But so it goes . . .

Interesting as the drafts are getting better the play becomes more controversial – people have stronger feelings about the characters and what should happens to them.  “No, she shouldn’t leave!”  “No, she can’t die like that!”  Being a writer is kind of amazing – I’ve birthed two new begins into the world that now have to make their way.

The play will premiere in South Africa in July, 2015

Some unnamed celebrity is trying to take us down by opening a rival club on the same night! (think rhymes with “my sweetie” or “eat more wheaties.”)

We’re doing a tribute to the late great singer Lebo Mathosa.  Our rivals have done a flier, reprinted ours (on right) and added the caption.  The battle is on!!!!!

 

 

I forgot the beauty of Johannesburg in spring  . . .

 

We opened the club a couple weeks ago – I’m still recovering.

On the one hand it was great – 300+ people showed up, a beautiful space, really nice vibe, a mix South African and other African guests.  My favorites were the Congolese diamond traders that showed up early and didn’t speak English but kept changing US$100 bills with me – the new ones I had never seen before and thankfully were not counterfeit.

On the other hand it was a rough – alcohol stolen, we lost money because not enough people came and they didn’t drink enough, some of us worked our asses off while it seemed the bartenders thought their job was just to keep oiling their chests and do a police uniform dance/strip tease that went on for a very long time.

We’ll see how the next one goes . . . .

 

 

We are are opening Friday Night: V2 – Vula Vala – (open/close in Zulu) – the 2 Virtues.  How did this happen?  See you there.

 

My class had it’s final showcase a couple days ago.  14 students all reading bits of their work.  We did it in a friend’s bar in the afternoon. I found it awkward and at moments wonderful, tedious with bits of brilliant. The director reminded me this is a showcase: the good, bad, and the ugly.  In any case, I still love the students.